The Lincoln MKT is a car for old farts. There, I’ve said it. Now, if you happen to be an old fart, don’t take too much offense. It’s a pretty swanky ride; perhaps a little too posh. Where’s the fun, Lincoln? What happened to that spirit that inspired such songs as “Hot Rod Lincoln?” You’ve lost your edge.
We could certainly try to inject some fun into the brand, but that would be a little injecting Botox – it doesn’t make you look younger so much as like you’re trying to hard. Instead, we’ll embrace the maturity. We could have done a faux convertible roof. You know, like you see on new Cadillacs when the owners, with their waist-high khaki pants and fishing hats, check every box on the option list. Or, we could have gone with gold trim. That’s what old fogies like these days, right? Well, maybe we could reach back into the past and search out something that was once cool and no longer is. Not that faux convertibles or gold trim are, but you know what I mean.
Woodies were all the rage once, but unlike faux convertible roofs, their popularity didn’t hang on. The seventies, with their faux wood-paneled wagons, didn’t help. And the 80′s, when Caravans started getting the treatment, might has well stuck a silver dagger in the whole idea. But, dammit, we’re bringing it back. When you use real wood, it’s pretty bombin’. So let’s remember those woodies; the 50′s kind. Not the 70′s and 80′s kind.
And that beautiful waterfall grill shouldn’t be contained to the center. It’s too gorgeous not to take up more real estate! We should make it as wide as possible and hide the lights in-between the slats. To match that chrome, there’s some shiny center caps on the steel rims, and white walls. Then, drop it all down and let the soft-as-sand air ride do it’s work. It’s going to ride as slick as a waxed-down stick while ridin’ the heavies.
That means riding a surfboard on big waves in surfer-speak. Explaining this Lincoln MKT as a whole is easy to translate: this ride is totally awesome, dude!